Finally—Trying to Get Over You to Move On

New Year’s Day…

My mind seeks you, of course.
I wonder how you are doing.
Part of me feels you
Lying in bed
Bogged down heavy with
Sadness that we didn’t work out.
And, maybe some anger
Towards me too for being
What you consider unfair.

Part of me ponders the depths of
Your resourcefulness too
Because I am keenly aware
Of the charm and generosity
You know how to wield
To melt women’s hearts
So completely and so
Also see you being able to
Bounce back more quickly
Than anyone might have thought
To get yourself
Back “out there” to have 2018
Unfold with fresh beauty—
The spring heart
Of a new relationship
Whether that begins overseas
And/or here.

I know you won’t
Spend much time single.
You just aren’t made that way.
You crave female “completion”
And will do
Whatever you need to do
To feel that again,
As soon as possible,
Whether or not the person
Is a healthy, suitable match.

Weirdly, the idea
Of you starting over
So easily and so gracefully
Hurts me, irrationally.

The wrangling heartache
I experienced this fall
Required a letting go
Of you by me
So I need to let go, even more,
And get to the point
Where that idea and knowledge
Hit me neutral between the eyes,
At least, not hurtful.

This healing work
Requires a mental acrobatic process
That I absolutely must undergo
So I can

Finally and genuinely
Feel happiness for you
Having moved on without me,
Free of any residual
Emotional drag on my part.

This is how my new year begins.
And, surprisingly, at this moment,
I am comfortable with this
Knotted ambiguity.

Finally

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2 thoughts on “Finally—Trying to Get Over You to Move On

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