Onion Rings–Mysterious Wheels of Decadance

American meals out–
Colossal celebrations
Of our plentitude–
Plates brimming over
With wedges of turkey meat,
Cheese, crispy bacon and
A bit of obligatory lettuce
Between toasted bread
Held together with long toothpicks
With shiny foil squiggles
On the top end, and
For some reason
Are called a “clubs”.

Or, melted cheese
Stretching over salty corned beef
Soaked in Russian dressing
Topped with sauerkraut
On rye bread
Which is somehow called a “Rueben”…

I understand this decadence.
But ordering and then eating
The almighty deep fried
Onion ring continues
To mystify me.

I never did understand the appeal
Of biting into those
Breaded wheels,
Whole for just one minute
Only to have the entire
Onion snake slither out
Upon it’s released breakage
Causing the construction
Of the ring to totally collapse

Not to mention the
Social awkwardness of
Trying to eat
Such a long onion slice
In one bite?
Or, do you cut the onion
Into smaller bites with a knife? Doesn’t that defeat
The convenience and
Fun or ordering those
In the first place?

If and when I eat that way,
I’ll stick with French fries
Crispy and mouth friendly
Doused with ketchup, oil and salt.



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