Children Growing Up and Leaving–A Heart Breaking Triumph–Day 25 of Getting Dressed


Time passes.
Children grow up
And want to spread their wings
To soar high and wide
Developing their own interests.

I roundly applaud my children
As unique budding individuals
And encourage them
To safely experiment,
Taste novelty,
Triumph in skill and
Relationship building
And feel a dash of failure too
Out in the world.
I’m supposed to support
Independence anyway and know
This process must happen.

Still one at home with me now
But I wonder.

What will I do after that?
How will I make my way forth
From there?

I’ve built my whole life
Around my children,
My sustenance,
My worry,
My access to and
Deepening of
Profound meaning.

I know I’ll find my way
But my heart
Lags behind a beat too.

Growing up means
Them leaving and
Can amount to them being far away
And for so long–
Missing sibling and grandmother
Birthdays because the dates
Fall during the time away,

Missing visits in bed with me
To chatter about wishes and desires,
Watching projects attempted
Like hanging plant growing,
Canning and ice cream making.
An utter absence of
Smoothie making, online shopping
As well as the ambiance of
Calm, collected composure.

And feeling a new
Tenored aura
Gathering storm overhead,
My soul weeps
An uncontrolled,
Irrational death.



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