Obsessing About the “Small Stuff”–Day 18 of Getting Dressed

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Phew, at times
I amaze my own self
About how unwell I can be.
Constant ruminations
Over what are, in the long term,
Most definitely
Unimportant slights at work
Turn and twist inside my head
Playing and replaying
Hotly relived as,

“I should have said this.
Maybe I still can and will!”

Burning my insides still.
The past.
The event is OVER.
Other colleagues possess only
Firefly short memories about
What doesn’t pertain
To them directly
And so nothing else
Via social media
Can or should be done
And,
Nobody else cares!

Social media platforms
Bread and butter communication
In my industry
Easily accessible via phone
Make for continuing my misery
So easy, on and on
Checking and rechecking.
Writing about what happened
Reading responses
And then adding more
Of my own comments.
No, not done yet–
So hard to forgive myself for
Bypassing the opportunity of
Getting the last verbal “punch” in
To expose how fake
The person really is…

Regardless of how
Anyone else would feel,
Would acing on the angry intention to
Publicly “skewer” someone
Be beneficial for
My own emotional well being
Even if that’s exactly
What the person “deserves”?

Still obsessing?

Please!
When will I give
An ugly and ultimately
Inconsequential person and situation
The flea bite, non-importance
They truly deserve?

When will I make the decision
To choose lighted joy
Versus the need to appear right,
Get my Zen on by
Focusing on the very real,
Good and important things
In my life
Versus allowing myself to
Get dragged down into
An my age old,
Deeply rooted pit of
Anxiety and fury?

Later, apparently.

Meanwhile, I’ll go ahead and
Waste my day obsessing.

I know and want to
Move on,
Feel sane,
Healthy and
Balanced again.
This is me sweating
The small stuff
Big time.

Later

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Obsessing About the “Small Stuff”–Day 18 of Getting Dressed

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