Invitation: Bored by a Topic that Continues to Reappear–When Will it End?

When divvying up
Invitations to enter and
Stay in my life
I try to be considerate
Appreciative that you
Thought of me,
When I remember.

The purple and black flowers
So artfully angled on a
Diamond shaped note
Playful, very out-of-the-box
May catch my eye
Causing me a second and third look

But there is a wisdom from
Knowing you that
Distance gives.

The insults, the criticism
The games played
The rug pulled out from underneath
The family and friends wreckage that
Going out on a limb for you caused.

I came to understand
The ramifications of being with
Someone with an unfillable hole of
Discontent
Cropping up sooner or later
Ugly, demanding.

Despite your section of words,
In the end,
You require a two-dimensional
Adoring, unquestioning fan to
Admire, agree with and
Applaud you only
So that you can be
Sufficiently reassured that
You are “OK” inside.

Your mother taught you well
To hate and doubt yourself.
I am sorry and can even relate
To those feelings but
I cannot fix that.
No one can.
And, last I checked,
Two-dimensional people
Don’t actually exist.

Despite what you
Have convinced yourself of
You weren’t and aren’t seeking
An equal partner.
There is a big difference
Between a fan and a partner.

I came to realize
You had little interest
In what I think or
That I think.

I got a degree of entertainment
Those last days when
I was able to just lay the phone down
Go do something else,
Return and find you
An hour later
Still going
Still spewing about the
Minutia of your own life
Onto my own palate
With no idea
Or care, for that matter,
That I, in the fact,
Had left the building.

So when an RVSP
So seldom handed out to me
To a most flashy party
Landed in my inbox,
I struggled, considered
Weighed the water markings
But checked the
“Unable to attend” box.

I must indeed still feel torn
Some unreasonable
Residual guilt about this leave taking.
This topic keeps
Appearing in the swirl of
Cooled coffee cups
An annoyance to be sure,
A sheepish fear
That I might be boring
Saying the same things
Over and over
And a sincere wish that
All this would just
Disappear.

Invitation

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