Bounty: Embracing Gratitude Fully, Wholly…

kisses

Certain jagged points
This holiday season
Speared and gored me
Taking me by surprise
Leaving me hollow, winded
Clawing for sustenance, air
Peace.

Espresso machine
Delivering unparalleled morning
Blissful considerations
Sparkled and gleamed
Now oddly broken.

Wine bottles bursting from shelf seams
Dotting the day’s exhale
Bringing luscious quality into sociality or
Dimensionality into solitude
Lay sideways.

Parts of this 2016 ending
Got away from me.

I want to hold on better,
Savor the moment’s droplets
Sink fingers and heart into
Spongy, springy Bounty
Genuine, illusive Gratitude
Velvet Grace
Creamed wishes
Starlit intention.

But juxtaposing life’s fragments
Timing
Schedules
Obligation
Extended family politics
Nuclear Family and Work balance
Travel plans made
And not made
Steel glint in bright sunlight
Have blindsided
And outdone me at times.

Bounty

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Maddening Desolation During the Holidays

Falling.
Arms and legs
Sprawling
Flailing
Grabbing spider webs to
Try to slow my fall
Breaking under massive heavy.

Whoosh!

Nothing left to catch me.

I have so much but
Speed downwards anyway.
Holiday rush
Headlong yet
Devoid of cheer.

Too much work
A Royal toothache
Make all the shiny to-do threads
Shabby somehow
Instead of handholds to look forward to.

Social media painting
Dulled emotional strokes
An addictive Novocain
Pulls me further under
While feeding
“Connection,”
“Sharing”.

Too little work.
Instead of reveling in
Lighted peace and Time
I’d worry about missing out on
“Community” and making money.

The impossibility of my torn nature
Confounds me
A desolate, self imposed
Zero sum game I’m losing.
Will I ever be happy?
Why is living so hard sometimes?
How long will I live anyway?

The roar and bustle
Others around me.
Loneliness amid a Maddening crowd.

Maddening

Liminal: What I Do to Greet the Sun

Only 8:21 am.
Been up awhile now
Edgy, amid liminal minutes
Between yesterday and today.
Skittering nerves
Preclude further sleep.

But I am well enough
And glad
I am healthy.

Morning elves beckon
“Get up, Make this day count!”
So, in the cheery light of
Christmas tree glow
In an otherwise dark space,
I obliged.

I paid bills.
I cleaned the kitchen, somewhat.
Got to do those things now and then.

I rescued 2 dying fruit
To bake marbled banana bread.
Using organic cocoa powder
From Costa Rica
The bread was successful
Even though I had insufficient milk

I delved into reconnection
And started writing holiday wishes.
Why not.
I was thinking of you
Had a card on hand
And wanted to say hello,
How are you?

Liminal