Nightmare: Alone and Healthy

Worse things exist than being single.

Cancerous sores
Chemo port coming displaced
Weekend spent calling triage
Turning into intestinal blockage
Nightmare explosion
Real time shards
Spinning a death spiral.

Marriage worn thin
Brittle tears
Frayed threads
Suffocating vacuum.
Crumpled wrappers, piled.
Candy bars eaten one after another
In a way that only solitary despair knows.

After 19 years bricklaying
Spreading mortar’s family glue
I got out of that thing with me and you.

Alone, snowshoes on Antarctic ice
Raw and punchy
Out-of-bounds now.

Other men,
Misplaced familiarity.
Hand holding
Napkin dabs on my mouth
Meant for someone else, surely.



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